2013-2018
Who am I? That’s a question I’ve asked myself a lot recently. In the midst of losing my job, travelling the world, falling in love, trying to break back into the music industry, making some amazing friends and having my heart-broken; my whole life seems to have changed in the past few months and I’ve been left with this question burning on my mind. Who am I?
Bleary eyed, we got off the coach after the nine hour journey from Berlin to Amsterdam. It was 5am and the only place we wanted to be? Bed. By the time we made it to the centre of the city, after trying to understand the ticket machine (and realising we don’t speak a word of Dutch), it was 6am. We went in search of breakfast. We realised that nowhere in Amsterdam is open for breakfast before 7am, so decided to explore the city. With no wifi, mobile data or any idea where we were going, we somehow found ourselves in Amsterdam’s infamous ‘Red Light District’…
It’s not often in London that we stop. All day, every day there is so much noise, so much action. My life is full of it; working, seeing friends, socialising. When I have nothing to do I’m trawling through social media, playing games on my phone or binging on Netflix. None of these are bad things, but so rarely in life do I stop, sit in silence, and enjoy that moment…
One of my new favourite places to go in London right now is Leake Street. If you have never heard of it, it is a tunnel that runs underneath Waterloo Station, and is one of the few places in London where graffiti is legal. In 2008, Banksy used this tunnel to, in his words, “transform a dark forgotten filth pit into an oasis of beautiful art”. Since then, dozens of amateur and established artists meet there every day, to create new stories and adventures in a dark tunnel underneath the busiest train station in the UK…
“You’re probably going to Hell.” That’s what a friend of mine half jokingly said to me one evening as we had a disagreement over something in the Bible. It was quite late so I didn’t hold it against him, but it got me thinking. Is that what faith is about? Is the reason that I am a Christian solely because I want to go to Heaven instead of Hell?
I recently travelled to San Francisco. One afternoon, we were shopping around Union Square. There are hundreds of shops there, from Apple to Levis, all the way to vintage book stores and eight floors of Macy’s. Just as the sun was setting and we had finished our burritos from Chipotle, I found myself in a shop unlike any I’d been to in my whole life. It was a little store called Good Vibrations and, from the outside, looked like most other shops, but the inside was a whole other story – it was a sex shop.
Meals are important. Putting aside the fact that our bodies need for to function, we place a lot of importance in eating together. From Christmas Dinner to that first date, or the traditional Sunday Roast with the family to the obligatory trip to McDonalds after a night out, meals mean something. When we gather together and food is involved we make great memories, and usually post those memories all over Instagram. But no meal in history is more momentous and significant to our lives than one which was eaten about 2000 years ago by Jesus Christ and his friends on the eve of his death…
In every culture or society, we have a concept of right and wrong. It is something that is fundamental to our understanding of the world. We know that helping an old lady to cross the road is morally right, and stealing an old lady’s handbag is morally wrong. Whatever your background, religion or ethnicity, we know that there is some kind of standard that we should be living by…
The past few months have been tough. I’ve felt apathetic, angry and far away from the faith I grew up with. I’ve been doing more and more for God than ever, helping to lead a connect group, worked for a church, seen amazing answers to prayer and had some great friends around me. Yet it feels like the fire has gone out, I’ve got more questions and doubts than ever and I feel like my life has been flipped upside down and crashed to the floor like the last time I attempted to flip a pancake…
A few months ago I went to one of the best gigs of my life in Wembley Stadium. No, it’s not Miley Cyrus, nor was it Steps, it was arguably one of the greatest rock operas of all time. Pink Floyd’s “The Wall”. The album talks about the isolation of the protagonist, Pink which comes from all the traumas he has in his life. These become metaphorical bricks in the wall, in the barrier isolating him from society.It was an incredible experience, musically, technically and emotionally. And it reminded me how so often I take things and build up barriers between myself and society; and more often than not, between myself and God…
