Tag: doubt

Cat Links deconstruction

Believing Again – A Testimony of Unbelief

Posted on gord

When I was eighteen, I was preparing to get baptised, and part of the service included me sharing my testimony. The testimony of how I became a Christian, how God had changed my life, and why I was choosing to get baptised. The purpose of this was partly evangelistic, to share what had transformed my life in the hope it might lead to a similar transformation in somebody else. It was also really helpful for me as a self-reflection, to enable me to work out for myself exactly why I was making this decision, and to give me a written record to look back at in the future. I’ve blogged a lot recently about the ways my faith has changed and deconstructed. But I still get a lot of people asking me what happened. What caused my deconstruction, and the changes in my faith and beliefs? This post is an attempt to answer that question, a ‘Testimony of Unbelief’ if you like.

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Cat Links deconstruction

Don’t Doubt

Posted on gord

The story of ‘Doubting Thomas’ is often used to portray doubt as something that is wrong. We’re told that it is something we must fight against, Thomas is portrayed as somebody of weak faith and if we doubt, we need to strengthen our faith so we don’t become like him. Because nobody wants to be a doubting Thomas.

Well nobody except me.

You see, right now I can see a lot of myself in Thomas. I’ve been doubting a lot over the last couple of years, and it’s been a real struggle. But I’ve slowly come to realise that doubt and scepticism aren’t things I should avoid or run away from, but are in fact totally normal and should be embraced.

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Cat Links deconstruction

Jesus the Atheist

Posted on gord

For a few months now, I’ve been having huge doubts in my faith. If you’ve followed my blog at all during that time you’ll know all about it, I’ve been pretty open. Growing up in the Christian Faith, I’ve seen and encountered God in undeniable ways. I’ve felt the presence of God being with me, I’ve seen and experienced healing and miracles as a result of prayer, and I’ve seen people’s lives transformed when they’ve encountered God. However I’ve also experienced times when it has seemed like God is absent, times when my prayers have not been answered. These last few months I’ve experienced the latter. My faith has crumbled piece by piece and the God I once knew feels more absent than ever.

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Cat Links atheism for lent

Loosening My Grip

Posted on gord

I love travelling, as I write this I’m sitting in ‘Jardin Majorelle’, Marrakech. I’ve spent the last three days travelling through the Atlas Mountains to the Sahara Desert. In the mountains we saw the snow and threw some snowballs, before travelling to some traditional Berber villages and drinking copious amounts of tea. We then travelled to the desert (frequently stopping along the bumpy roads for cigarette breaks, chicken tagine and more tea), took a camel two hour camel ride from Merzouga into the Sahara and settled to camp for the night before heading back to Marrakech the next morning.

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Cat Links atheism for lent

Giving Up God For Lent

Posted on gord

Over the years I’ve given up lots of different things during Lent. Whether it be chocolate, Facebook or cake, I’ve had varying degrees of success. I’ve also tried to use lent as an opportunity to take something up, from reading my Bible daily, to doing a random act of kindness every day. This year, however, I’m trying something different. I’m giving up God.

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Cat Links deconstruction

Just A Book?

Posted on gord

I got my first Bible pretty much at birth, it was a big story book with lots of pictures of people wearing leaves, animals hanging out on arks and white men with beards. Years later I got my first “proper” Bible, one where nothing was missed out and there were a lot less pictures. However I didn’t really start reading the Bible properly until I was in my teens. Up until then it was a story book, it didn’t have a huge impact on my life and I don’t know whether I believed it held much significance to me. It was just a book.

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