Who Am I?

I’m just about to return from a week in Belfast, hanging out with my buddy Pete Rollins at his ‘Wake’ festival. It’s been a week of discussion, drinking and debate, centring around the theme of the absurd. It’s given me a lot to think about, and I’m sure there’ll be plenty of posts on here over the next few months as I try to process everything I’ve learnt and experienced this week. Belfast has become a very special place to me, the city is rich with culture and history, with a vibrant music and comedy scene and an endless supply of pubs and bars to experience them in. The troubles in the late 20th century are still incredibly recent, and even though it’s nineteen years since the ‘Good Friday Agreement’, the city is still very much reeling from the events that took place.

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Believing Again – A Testimony of Unbelief

When I was eighteen, I was preparing to get baptised, and part of the service included me sharing my testimony. The testimony of how I became a Christian, how God had changed my life, and why I was choosing to get baptised. The purpose of this was partly evangelistic, to share what had transformed my life in the hope it might lead to a similar transformation in somebody else. It was also really helpful for me as a self-reflection, to enable me to work out for myself exactly why I was making this decision, and to give me a written record to look back at in the future. I’ve blogged a lot recently about the ways my faith has changed and deconstructed. But I still get a lot of people asking me what happened. What caused my deconstruction, and the changes in my faith and beliefs? This post is an attempt to answer that question, a ‘Testimony of Unbelief’ if you like.

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Liminal

As I mentioned briefly in my previous post, last month I attended a festival in Belfast hosted by author and speaker Peter Rollins, entitled ‘Wake’. I didn’t know much about the event when I signed up, my friend had mentioned it to me saying she wished she could attend and on a whim I decided to sign up. The festival explored radical theology and was designed to mimic a wake, for us to mourn the death of God.

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Jesus the Atheist

For a few months now, I’ve been having huge doubts in my faith. If you’ve followed my blog at all during that time you’ll know all about it, I’ve been pretty open. Growing up in the Christian Faith, I’ve seen and encountered God in undeniable ways. I’ve felt the presence of God being with me, I’ve seen and experienced healing and miracles as a result of prayer, and I’ve seen people’s lives transformed when they’ve encountered God. However I’ve also experienced times when it has seemed like God is absent, times when my prayers have not been answered. These last few months I’ve experienced the latter. My faith has crumbled piece by piece and the God I once knew feels more absent than ever.

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