A few years ago I was at a Christian youth festival, working with the detached team. As part of the week, we ran a debate night called “Grill a Christian”, where anyone could come and ask questions to do with faith and life; we would do our best to answer and talk about them. One girl stood up towards the end of the evening and asked the question “Can I be gay and Christian?”. My semi-Christian upbringing and time in Church youth groups taught me that the answer was “no”, so that’s what I said. As far as I was concerned, practicing homosexuality was a sin, marriage was for one man and one woman and that was that. But I could see from her face that my answer didn’t cut it, this was something that she was struggling with, something which affected her life. After the debate finished, the question was still playing on my mind, I couldn’t shake the thought that what I had just said to her was incredibly hurtful. This question had been an issue to me, but for her it was a reality. This question that I thought I knew the answer to suddenly had a face and a name. Suddenly, I found the answers I had didn’t cut it any more. For the next year I struggled with this question, reading articles, blogs, interviews. I realised that there are many ways to read the Bible passages regarding homosexuality and that the Love of God is for everyone, regardless of their sexual orientation. The next year I was able to go back to the festival and see the girl who asked the question, and apologise to her for my comments. I found out that she had been greatly hurt by mine and other people’s comments towards her, and that meant that she questioned whether even God loved her.
Sadly, this story is not a one-off, there are so many people who have been hurt by Christian people’s words telling them that there is something wrong with them because they are gay. People who think they can’t be loved by God, or don’t have a place in the church because they are attracted to the “wrong” gender. Some people say “well you’ve got to love the sinner but hate the sin”, but even if you do that you’re still reducing somebody to be defined as a sinner, you’re still telling them that part of them is wrong. Whether or not you believe that homosexuality is a sin, it’s important to remember that it’s not the only sin. Everybody sins, whether it’s lying, gossiping or cheating on your wife; but we are not defined by our sin, the gospel tells us that we are loved and that is what defines us. We are part of Jesus’ family.
In the book of Galatians, St. Paul explained that once we are welcomed into Jesus’ family, then we are all equal.
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“In Christ’s family there can be no division into Jew and non-Jew, slave and free, male and female. Among us you are all equal. That is, we are all in a common relationship with Jesus Christ. Also, since you are Christ’s family, then you are Abraham’s famous “descendant,” heirs according to the covenant promises.”
Throughout his ministry, Jesus saw past people’s “issues” and saw their humanity. There’s the story of the woman at the well, the woman caught in adultery, the healing of the invalid and many more stories of Jesus loving people, giving them dignity and seeing their humanity. Jesus didn’t see people as issues, he saw them as people to love. So his response to them was to invite them into his love.
Regardless of where we stand on the issue of homosexuality, the reality is we are not showing people love. We are seeing people as issues and hurting them in the process. That needs to change. For the sake of the girl I met on camp, and many more like her, this needs to change. The answer to the question “Can I Be Gay and Christian?” is a resounding yes, because there is nobody that is exempt from the love of God. No matter what we’ve done, we have the opportunity to live for Jesus.
Let’s stop seeing people as issues, because we just end up hurting them. Let’s love them, care for them, build them up. Let’s treat people like people, because that is what they are.
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Just like the gossip, the adulterer, the glutton, the fraud, the gay has to let go of such lifestyle. Read 1 Corinthians 5:9-13. It does not speak to gays only. How about all the promiscuity, including half-nakedness, we see in church. Unmarried but living together, divorced but remarried, the ever-present tribes of champion gossipers. Now go read through the books of 1-3 John, Jude.
No. Our church that comes from the 1600’s now is a gay club effectively, and His Spirit left the house. And then the music died, the music of the pure Gospel.
I have counseled gays for 25+ years. They want the best of both world and, to 99%, being gay is a choice. Few are born that way, if any. Various Lesbian girls told me in my face that, if I would divorce my beloved wife, they would not be Lesbian any more. And they told my wife! OK, so they proved my suspicions right.
No. There is only one way, the steep and narrow. No compromise. It is not about our Father loving them, but whether we obey and love Him back on His terms.
Reblogged this on Ai Kant Spal Kwit and commented:Just like the gossip, the adulterer, the glutton, the fraud, the gay has to let go of such lifestyle. Read 1 Corinthians 5:9-13. It does not speak to gays only. How about all the promiscuity, including half-nakedness, we see in church. Unmarried but living together, divorced but remarried, the ever-present tribes of champion gossipers. Now go read through the books of 1-3 John, Jude.
No. Our church that comes from the 1600’s now is a gay club effectively, and His Spirit left the house. And then the music died, the music of the pure Gospel.
I have counseled gays for 25+ years. They want the best of both world and, to 99%, being gay is a choice. Few are born that way, if any. Various Lesbian girls told me in my face that, if I would divorce my beloved wife, they would not be Lesbian any more. And they told my wife! OK, so they proved my suspicions right.
No. There is only one way, the steep and narrow. No compromise. It is not about our Father loving them, but whether we obey and love Him back on His terms.
When asked a question like this I like to go straight to the core. The bigger question is the more important one, “can I be a Christian if I’m a sinner” for it encompasses what’s at the very heart of man. Can I be a Christian if I lie, over eat, gossip, fail to control my anger etc etc. The answer to all of these is obvious. Humans like to create special classes of sin that are ok and not ok but in reality that’s not what the bible seems to say.
I completely agree with you, but I’ve read that homosexuality is often genetic. In this case, the individual does not have the liberty to choose the gender that they want to be with. Would you consider this individual to be a sinner?
Sin nature is supposedly always genetic and supposedly we all have a besetting sin we are born with. I have enough trouble with my own to worry much about others.
Isn’t it just so comfortable to say that they are sinful, when you don’t have to deal with this same-sex attraction yourself? So you would even dare to suggest they be life-long celibate, no chance of marrying someone they love to have and to hold, until death to their part?
Even a human father is able to give a marriage blessing to his child. How can a heavenly father give a curse instead of a blessing in the same situation? Isn’t today Father’s Day?
Two comment on things you wrote:
“I realised that there are many ways to read the Bible passages regarding homosexuality”. This is true, but the vast majority of theologians say (after detailed study) that the Bible does not support same sex relationships and it is wrong to read it in that way.
“So his response to them was to invite them into his [Christ’s] love” and “No matter what we’ve done, we have the opportunity to live for Jesus.” Absolutely, and living for Jesus meaning turning away from our sinful ways and living in accordance with God’s will. That may require us to make some difficult decisions – an extreme example would be giving up criminal activity. It might also mean stopping drinking to excess, fighting, stealing, being greedy, etc, etc. It also extends to matters of sex and relationships – using prostitutes, being promiscuous, or in an unmarried sexual relationship.
So we have to be careful to separate the orientation from the practice. The question was “Can I be gay and Christian?”. If being gay means being attracted to the same sex, then of course they can. We all have temptations, but the issue is what do we do with them. But if being gay means being in a same-sex relationship, then I would say they can’t, because they are actively refusing to live God’s way, which makes me wonder if they are a Christian.
I agree with you that the church has treated gays badly. The church badly needs to extend the love of Jesus to the gay community. But that love calls us, gay or straight, to leave our old life behind. To say otherwise is to change the gospel into something that it’s not.
I don’t think that being attracted to somebody of the opposite sex is a sin, it’s what you do with that attraction that can be the issue. I don’t believe being gay is a choice but how you act is. This is the case for a whole lot of other issues, not just homosexuality.
For example, having depression is not something you choose, it’s just something some people have. I’m not saying that being gay and suffering from depression are the same at all, but as somebody who has been dealing with depression for many years, I know that although the depression itself isn’t a choice, my actions stemming from it are. If I were to harm myself or cause emotional pain to others by my words or actions, or try to dull the pain with drugs or alcohol, I wouldn’t be let off the hook just because I was suffering from something that wasn’t my choice. I would still be responsible for my actions and need to seek forgiveness for them.
Christians are born the same as everybody else, with an equal chance of having certain quirks, difficulties or preferences. The difference is, we have chosen to join the daily struggle to live in a Christ-like way. Some may find this particularly difficult because their struggle relates to their sexuality which in turn dictates the way they feel loved. This can be a painful path and it’s the duty of other christians to support their brothers and sisters in this, not turn them away or label them as somehow ‘worse’. This is a sin in itself. We should try to offer more love to somebody striving to find it, not less.
Being gay should not be seen as different from any other struggle that a christian may face and the mistakes that may come out of this struggle should not be seen as different from any other mistakes. The problems come when people start trying to quantify sin, making some people feel like they are less worthy of God’s love and mercy. This is not true! We have ALL fallen short but we are ALL offered the same forgiveness and the same love.
If you are dealing with homosexuality, just remember you are no worse than any other person. You have no less right to forgiveness and you have no less right to love. You may have to make certain sacrifices but our Father in heaven will repay them ten-fold. If you have chosen Jesus, he has chosen you and you are one of God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved.
We’re all called to live a sacred life as believers, regardless of sexual orientation. I put a homosexual lifestyle on the same page as sex outside of marriage in general. Both hurts us and both is not like He wants us to live. His passionate love for every human being is certainly the same and, yes, there is forgiveness for everyone who repents (repentence means turning away from sin). But obidience to His word is not something we should take lightly. Being abstinent from sexual activity with another person is not an option for unmarried christians, it’s obedience. Because if you love Him, you wanna please Him. And it’s not our task to (re)define marriage.God defined it, between one man and one woman.
Some of these comments are still coming from a place where being gay is a struggle, a sin, an anomaly, something less than God’s best. What would happen if we realised that there are many of us in the Church already who are gay, some celebate, some married, some partnered and some with children. All loving and serving God, flourishing as we become true to ourselves and Gods call on our lives.
The idea that you are only faithful if you are celebate, is just another way of making people fit in, belong to a set theology or practise, but actually not all who are of strong faith accept this. Maybe we need to see what the Spirit may be saying to us in the Church at this time, through those of us who think differently.
Amen! Thanks for reading William!