I love travelling, as I write this I’m sitting in ‘Jardin Majorelle’, Marrakech. I’ve spent the last three days travelling through the Atlas Mountains to the Sahara Desert. In the mountains we saw the snow and threw some snowballs, before travelling to some traditional Berber villages and drinking copious amounts of tea. We then travelled to the desert (frequently stopping along the bumpy roads for cigarette breaks, chicken tagine and more tea), took a camel two hour camel ride from Merzouga into the Sahara and settled to camp for the night before heading back to Marrakech the next morning.
As I sat on my camel (which I named Joseph), on what happened to be my 24th birthday, I found myself contemplating and reflecting on my life thus far. As I’ve said, I’m currently doing the ‘Atheism for Lent’ course lead by Peter Rollins. Here I’m actively encouraged to explore atheism, read criticisms of faith and religion and actively question what I believe. I’m thoroughly enjoying it, and am opening my mind to beliefs and questions I hadn’t thought of previously. At the same time travelling to places so far from my normal environment, and experiencing new cultures and customs is giving me even more ways to think about the way I look at the world, and what I believe.
I’ve found that I’ve grown up holding very tightly to my beliefs. In my mind, what I believed was the truth, and everyone who disagreed needed to change their views because they were obviously wrong. However as I sat on my camel and reflected on how much my own tightly held beliefs have changed in the last few months, let alone since I was 16, I realised I have no way of knowing whether or not what I believe right now is true. The more I see of the world, the different cultures, beliefs and creeds, the more I realise I need to hold onto my beliefs a bit looser.
In reality, there’s not much I can be certain of, I guess that’s the point of faith. Every new day my world is opened to new ideas, new challenges and new questions that change, however subtly, what I see as truth. The things I believe today, I may not believe tomorrow, I’m like a piece of clay, constantly being moulded by the world in which I live.
In the Sahara there are people who call themselves ‘Nomads’. These people don’t have a permanent home, they’re constantly travelling from place to place. We stayed with some Nomads in the desert, and the more I spent time with them, the more I realised the similarities between their way of life and my own faith journey. I don’t feel like I fit in a box or label anymore, I’m wandering around the desert of life, taking it in and seeing what truth I can find in every experience. There are times when I find that truth in Christianity, in church, community, and as I pray or read scripture. But I’m also finding truth as I read the criticisms of Christianity, in the writings of Marx, Hume and Feuerbach. There’s truth in science, in meditation and in the simple life of the Nomads.
I’m loosening my grip on my beliefs, letting go of the need to be certain, because I’m probably going to change my mind tomorrow. Well, that’s what I’m planning to do today at least.
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